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aMuse

One poem every week. No other rules, no other plans, just words.

Other’s Required*

The popular sanguine
The joyful, gregarious people
The optimistic children
The endless smilers*

But only with affirmation
Tell us we are loved
Remind us we are interesting
Admire our silly stories

Or maybe, don’t?
Let us learn
Let us grow
Let us listen

To words we tell ourselves
To be people we love
To own who we are
Becoming our own champion

Our own cheerleader
Our own love
Accepting it from others
Not REQUIRING it to succeed

The popular sanguine
The loudest laughers
The jovial jokers
The independent beasts

The Act

My entire body aches
The pain expands
Pushing against my chest
An invisible injury
Hidden behind a smile
Silent beneath loud laughter
A mannequin of my own making
Strings grow tighter
Movements stiffen
But my expression remains the same
The show must go on
One more person
One more performance
Proudly presenting:
The Lovely Liar

Fast Food Diet

I know the feast is up ahead
And yet I lie awake
For on every corner sits
A chance to choose my fate

I crave the wine I’m promised
And the lavish filling meal
But a frosty sounds so good
And 4 for $4 is quite a deal

And so again I waver
I say it’s just this once
But i’ll say it again tomorrow
‘Cause I’ve been doing that for months

And when I sit again in bed
Clutching my stomach tight
I’ll wonder why i’ve done this
As I tear up in fading light

I know i’ve not been judged
For we all have our own sins
But I start to see my life
Through a salty fast food lens

For it’s not just meals I skimp on
It’s not just fast food down the road
It’s love and hope and friendship
That get left for an easier load

Cause who can wait for real love
When impersonations crowd your view
And who would rely on an unseen God
When friends you’ve known will do

But we tell our own sad story
In every sitcom and tv show
Of craving something so much more
And the ache we feel when we let go

So why don’t I believe it
Why do I continue on
Filling myself with junk food
As my heart aches on and on

Frostys fill the craving
But all too soon it’s back
Reminding me yet again
That all I want it lacks

So I pray I wait for real things
For the meals that fill me full
And ignore the fast food diet
That keeps me in a life of lull

Battlefield

It looms overhead
The sudden shift
Like the heavy heat of the tropics
Unseen but wearisome
Watching habits become obsolete
Old emptiness filled
But new gaps appear
Tears in the fabric of normalcy
What will patch up my life?
Fear dances through me
Friends, time, loves lost.
Possibilities or guarantees?
Each move creates hundreds more
An endless chess match
For what victory do I seek?
Happiness?
Love?
Success?
Wealth?
Pick your own adventure
I nudge forward
Chancing a move
Onward into the unknown mist

Dad

You came to each game
And heard tale upon tale
But you never complained
Never seeing us kids as a jail

You encouraged our madness
Asking us more to create
Letting us fly and letting us fall
Pushing us to make our own fate

Even now at a distance
Your words push me on
Your joy and your pride
Adding wings to my song

Now hearing your smile
As I tell of new dreams
I remember old times
All those childhood schemes

Things I thought certain
That you knew wouldn’t go
But you let me dream on
Allowing excitement to flow

You taught me so much
When you smiled at my falling
You helped me see promise
In the pitfalls find calling

So thank you for listening
For letting me try
Allowing each crazy idea
A chance to hit sky

For where I am now
I just simply wouldn’t be
Except for your joy
In asking me to be me

Memories

Fragrance overtakes me
Colors dance through rounded glass
Pulsing. silent.
In Thailand once again
Or is it Egypt?
At once at home
The cozy unfamiliar
Thinking of nothing
Simply there.
Simply then.
Until I return
Pulled back to reality
Friendly voices call
Simply here.
Simply now.
The senses loose their hold
It fades
The unconcious journey
A beautiful surprise
My living memory

Mess

Messy wandering
Filling the room
Energy wasted
A silent heart flume

Talking with friends
Hearing things unsaid
Displaying a smile
But scratching my head

I must be dreaming
There’s not something here
But things do seem different
Have we lost all our fear?

And so I push on
With a Smile ear to ear
Enjoying the friendship
Til you give the all clear

David

May we dance
Flying from the floor
Joy straining the muscles
Uncontrollable excitement
Loved regardless of shame
Streets filled with shouting
Happy bursts of hopeful noise
Affection that refuses to remain silent
May we dance

The End

We finally made it to the last and final call
I couldn’t have guessed how little we’d fall

Jumping from friends to a little bit more
But keeping our distance just as before

The signs seemed sure; an obvious match
But try as we might the lock would never quite latch

But each word was kind and the landing was soft
Respect winning out, holding friendship aloft

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