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aMuse

No rules, no plans, just words.

γινώσκω (know)

Let me at it
Let me see
Let me know You
Obsessively

Reading letters
Learning Your mind
Mentally noting
The things that I find

Doodling names
Reminders of You
Laughing at words
You gave to the few

Desperate for more
Searching to know
Hoping You’ll love me
Knowing it’s so

Year after year
Pursued others with glee
Until I realized
That You had chased me

Turning the tables
Overwhelmed and sought out
I follow your trail
To know what You’re about

Keep my heart wondering
Soul desperate for more
That we may be one
Your heart at my core

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Ghost Town

Memories scattered
Littered through town
Moments of laughter
Turned heartache and frown

Walking past places
Once filled with joy
Now finding pain
From loving a boy

Holding together
As people look on
Never quite showing
The hurt that he’s gone

Snippets of time
Our history in places
Short though it was
Still my mind races

Spots where night after night
We spent talking til dawn
Never wanting to stop
Til someone would yawn

Houses I loved
I now try and avoid
Places of smiles
All but destroyed

The heartache will fade
Time show the city anew
But for now it is haunted
With remnants of you

Bind

Endless circles
Tracing back
Laughter, smiles
And things we lack

Pushing forward
Til hope comes true
Constant normal
Me and you

Smiles come quickly
Words with ease
Silently wishing
Time to freeze

Two distant hearts
But joy entwined
A rocky future
The friendship bind

Change for better
Plans adjust
Making truth
Removing lust

Faking forward
Til its real
Praying sadly
Joy to steel

Monster

Fear encroaching
Blocking light
Leaving death
In wake of flight

Respect forgotten
Hurt abounds
Vindictive outpours
When fear surrounds

Save us, Father
Open eyes
To see more truth
Remove the lies

How it holds us
Firmly seized
In hearts, in minds
Fear believed

Humanity breaking
Failing fast
As fear erupts
Distortion lasts

Remind us, Father
Of common ground
Of laughter, love
And joyful sound

Move us, Father
Push us near
To see a person
To love not fear

LOST

Giggly, giddy
Lost and found
Tangled up
But upside down

Nervously eager
Smiling yet scared
Silly laughter
With dark souls bared

Hopeful anxiety
Pounding heart
Distractions waning
Waiting to start

Fearful ideas
Splintered mind
Unsure longing
Til words help bind

Silent sitting
Speaking escape
Knowing nothing
Unsure fate

Prayerful moments
Forcing hope
Stepping backwards
Helping cope

Giggly, giddy
Lost and found
Tangled up
Yet upside down

Give It Up

Teach me, Lord
To let it be
When life’s not fine
And I’m not me

Take it, Jesus
Push it far
From heavy load
To measly scar

Help me, Father
Unclench my hands
To release the lies
And life’s demands

I cannot do it
With strength alone
Help me, Spirit
With grace atone

I’m scared to open
Can’t give it up
So rip it from me
‘Til I erupt

But hold me, Father
When I cannot see
The joys ahead
Your plans for me

For I will question
And hold on tight
For fear of failing
Not taking flight

So help me, Jesus
Calm my nerves
Remind me again
This life is yours

The Show

img_4537.jpgBehind the words I say every day
Lies my whole story, hidden away

Shiny at first, bright and true
I gave it away to all that I knew

But with each tell something was lost
Sharing those things came at a cost

Now cracked, broken, passed around
I keep my past hidden, closed and bound

Scared that the listener wont care for my treasure
Or that they’ll take parts when they leave at their leisure

Once a big secret, tales one of a kind
My story is now scattered for others to find

So forgive me the wait as I ticket the show
Until I can trust that you’re the one who should know

Stars

Daylight creeping
Drifting far
Heavenly warmth
Replaced by stars

As it streaks
The fading sky
I begin to wonder
I ask God why

Why still here?
Why still now?
Will it change?
And if so how?

I don’t hate it
Not by a stretch
But O how I long
My love to fetch

To feel the weight
Of love drenched hugs
To sit in silence
Holding coffee mugs

How do I lead
This double life
When all it does
Is let hurt run rife

Wanting the road
But craving a home
Asking for settled
Begging to roam

I’m lost in a game
Where I never get picked
Endlessly tag
Never quite “it”

So I sit silent
Happy but lost
Wanting to trust
But God, at what cost?

Staying is wrong
Miss what I crave
Going is too
Says the fear that enslaves

Ripped top to bottom
Fear consuming my whole
Edging out tears
That I cannot control

Save me I plead
Show me the way
Help me to know
This is part of your play

I stretch and listen
For a word or a sign
And suddenly think
Even stars are all thine

Stars that now shine
Died long ago
Releasing their hope
To the people below

That in this life
For those who believe
God works for the good
To help not deceive

More

IMG_0857.jpgGuide me Father
Through thick and thin
Glancing Upwards
Pressing in

I want to want it
All on my own
But each time it presses
It seems for men alone

Unsure if its me
Or desire to impress
That’s asking for more
To fix this hot mess

I like that i’m asking
No matter why
But do YOU see that
And count it a try?

I want to be better
To read what you wrote
To see the story
Engage with each note

But I can’t seem to push
Without others i’m lost
Finding your word
But kept with a cost

It’s good to have others
Talk of your love
But I want it alone
That joy from above

Help me to find it
Push me for time
For words unspoken
And wisdom to climb

Grow me so greatly
Make me more than I am
Prepare me for use
In this life you’ve got planned

In your name Jesus
Amen
So Be it.

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